how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize