handjob tips. give me some.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
