just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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