Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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