This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
