They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize