You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
