This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
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How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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