I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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