I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
