who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I forget how to act sober
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
