do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
