New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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