Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize