I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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