when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she told me i tasted like america
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im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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