Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
