I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We have so much sex to catch up on
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
