I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
