Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Randomize
