Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize