Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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