he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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