Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
