I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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