So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
