What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
