i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I puked a lego.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
