you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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