; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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