He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
