Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So vagazzling was a success
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
