Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
