There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize