Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
