So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
