Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
