Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
