hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
