so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
