Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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