I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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