oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
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You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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