his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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