She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
and she was petting her beer can
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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