What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
