My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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