As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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