D3 body, D1 cock
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
