did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
