ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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