so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
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mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
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There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
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