Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
