Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
