puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
