loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
