If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
