We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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