3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
