I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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