i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
