its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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