what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
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so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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